Jesus replied: “ ‘Love
the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it:
‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
-Matthew 22:37-38
Laurie is the reverend at Grace Church Van Vorst in Jersey
City, New Jersey. Over the summer, I stayed with my aunt and had the
opportunity to attend Grace Church with her as she is a member of the
congregation. Reverend Laurie has been at Grace for four years, is married to
her wife, Rosemary, and is clearly loved and appreciated by many members of the
congregation who speak so highly of her.
When did you first go
into ministry and how long have you been a Reverend?
I was ordained in 2007 and I’ve been working for the church
since 1992. For those first 12 or 13 years, I wasn’t ordained but I was a
fulltime missioner for my church. That means that I was sent by my congregation
in Hoboken (which was well off) to go see if there were ways that the church could
be useful to the community on the other side of the city that was not well off.
I wound up helping to start a community center for children and I worked a lot
with women in that community to get the community center started. It’s still
operational and runs after-school and summer [programs] and public housing.
What made you decide
to follow this career path of becoming a Reverend?
I was in college and I took a class on the New Testament. I
was reading the Gospel of John in chapter fifteen and the fifteenth verse at
the last supper where [Jesus] tells everybody that he doesn’t call them his
servants anymore, he calls them his friends. And I had a conversion experience
- I felt very clearly that Jesus was speaking not only to the people in the
Gospel but specifically to me.
Did you have any
reservations (in relation to your sexual orientation) when you made the
decision to pursue ministry? What was
the LGBT+* community like at the time?
Yeah, I had no idea how I was going to get ordained. I was
not an Episcopalian. The Episcopal Church in 1992 had just begun to welcome
LGBT into the ministry but I wasn’t an Episcopalian. I had gone to seminary as
an American Baptist and American Baptist [Churches] still don’t ordain gay and
lesbian people. I felt like I wanted to be faithful to everybody. I wanted to
be faithful to God because it was very clear that I was being called to
ministry. I wanted to be faithful to my church because they had supported me for
ministry so I didn’t want to lie to them and figuring out that I was in love
with my wife was something that happened just before I went into seminary. That’s
when I realized that I was going to spend my life with a woman and things were
going to be rocky for me in seminary. I wanted to be faithful to Rosemary
[too]. I couldn’t figure out how to, nor did I want to, drop any of those – I didn’t
want to walk away from any of those. I decided that I was going to keep going
to seminary and to be honest with my sponsoring church and that’s what I did
but it didn’t work out. But it wasn’t because I wasn’t faithful.
Did you get married
before or after going into ministry?
I got married before I was ordained because I worked for 12
years before I became a lesbian. And my not being ordained was connected to my
being a lesbian.
And did you feel like
it was something that you had to announce?
Well, I wound up getting an internship while I was in
seminary after my Baptist Church had pretty much dropped me. I got an
internship at an Episcopal church just with the idea of working in the
ministry. The priest invited me to work there so I did. They knew who I was so
that wasn’t an issue. I [ended] up spending those twelve years there because I
created a ministry at the church that began during my internship. But I have never
worked for a church that didn’t know my sexual orientation.
Was there a
particular moment where you felt that you weren’t being welcomed by the Church because
of your sexual orientation apart from the situation where you were dropped by
your Baptist Church?
No, because (I feel like this was [evidence] of my calling)
I pretty much stumbled into the Episcopal Church without looking it up and with
no plan, trying to figure out what God wanted from me because if I wasn’t going
to be able to be ordained, I didn’t understand what God was asking from me. It
was very clear. I was told that I should go talk to the Priest there, which I
did, and he’s that one who offered me the internship and that became my church
home for 12 years. Never in my professional life, meaning ministry I’ve been
paid to do, have I ever felt unwelcomed by the church that I served.
The Church has been
known to be extremely hostile to and unaccepting of the LGBT+ community in a
very hypocritical way. What would you say to any Christians who may have those
feelings of hostility and disdain?
It’s really funny that one of the problems that people in my
position face is that we are painted with a broad brush without knowing who we
are or our relationship with God or one another or family or anything about us.
We are considered special and unique sinners. I think that all of us are
sinners and that all of us are fallen. I think one of the best parts of me is
my family so I won’t be ashamed to go before my God with my family and with the
way that I am, the way that I’m a [“hypocrite”] and the way that I fall short
in many other ways. And I believe I will be forgiven. When you say, “What would
I say to people who would condemn me because they are Christian,” - I don’t know
them and I don’t know their stories either. I think that one thing that moves
me in my own ministry is that Jesus didn’t say, “Go love everybody,” he said, “Go
love your neighbor,” and that requires having a relationship. So that’s a one
person at a time thing. So, I would no more paint everybody who thinks
homosexuality is a sin with a broad brush than I would hope that they would
take me, you know? And I think that the only answer is to turn to the person
next you and truly love them unconditionally the way that Christ has loved them
and to get to know them. I’ve dealt with a lot of people who didn’t think that
I should be ordained and who thought that I was sinful because of my family.
I know that the US
has become more and more accepting of the LGBT+ community over the years. In my
country (which is Zimbabwe), this isn’t the case at all. Do you think that if
who you are wasn’t embraced, you would’ve still made the decision to serve in
the church?
I can’t imagine what it would be like not to be myself and
not to have grown up in the situation [in which] I’ve grown up. I really can’t.
I will say though, that when I fell in love with Rosemary, I thought that [it] was
a calling from God - like a gift from God. When I was called to the church it
was very clear to me that I was personally called and that God was calling me.
The hardest thing about rejecting either of those was really about my life with
God. So, I don’t know what I would do and I can’t imagine that situation, truly,
where I would say, “No”, when it was so clear that God was asking me to do
something. I think I would, but I don’t know. I like to think of myself as
somebody who would be faithful no matter what and I pray to God for the strength
to be faithful no matter what. But I think I’m just a person ultimately.
Thank you for letting
me interview you. It’s been such a pleasure talking to you.
Sure.
*LGBT+ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and
more
_________________________________________________________
God truly loves you for who you are.
With love,
Mandile.
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